Some things can't be said out loud
by amoureuse87
Summary: Kurt is trying to speak his heart out.


Author: amoureuse87

Title: Some things can't be said out loud

Rating: K+, maybe

Warnings: Slash obviously

Word count: 1216

Genre: slash, romance

Summary: Kurt is trying to speak his heart out

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or get any money from writing fics. It's very entertaining though ;)

A/N: Well, quite everything is said already. Just a small fic about one way of "talking".

"_This will be my first, last and very final message to you._

_That is, if you want to keep it that way._

_Also, before reading this, you have been kissed. Which is totally your own fault. It should be illegal to be you. You know that I don't even believe in perfectness but well, you are close to it. Good-looking, fun, lovely, loving. And I am weak when it comes to love, you should remember it._

_I really don't know how it happened, but somehow I fell in love with you. Spending time with you has always been great, in a way very rewarding. I've enjoyed every single moment, wished that I could spend all my living moments with you. Every single second, even while asleep. Just knowing you're close to me helps me sleep well. It makes me feel like I'm an actual person._

_I still remember the first time we met. I remember it all so clear. Stopping you was the best thing I've ever done, I wouldn't have believed how that little moment changed everything in my life. Actually, it kind of started my life. I've been alive for quite some years, but that really opened the doors. I started to learn who I really was. Imagine, before I met you, I had thought I knew who I was!_

_You have made my world a better place, opened new windows and doors, helped me to believe in myself. I know that people can be such arses but I don't mind, I know I have someone to count on. No matter how burned I ever feel, I have someone to save me. To help me stand and heal my pieces, start all over again. That someone is you._

_You should also know, that I adore everything in you. I have no idea why, most probably just because you are you. The most adorable person ever. Perfect in my eyes._

_I tried to deny my feelings, I really thought I only liked you as a friend. Slowly I realized I had some other kinds of feelings too, I had strange dreams and from all of a sudden I realized that the before faceless boy in my fantacies got a face – your face. The one that has been so close to me, learned everything about me that there is to be learned. The one that has given me more than anyone else._

_I can't help myself, I decided I should tell you how I feel. We've always been totally honest to each other and keeping this from you hasn't really made me feel good about myself. It hasn't been easy trying to figure how to tell to you about this. After all, I'm a coward._

_Maybe it was the fact that you're the only open gay boy I know, I don't know. I just fell for you. In a way I'm sorry I did, but well, it's the most amazing thing that ever happened to me. Meeting you was amazing too, of course. I don't know what I should say or do, I'm a mess right now._

_I decided to write this letter to you, because I knew that my tongue could never form these words in front of you. Just one look from your mesmerizing eyes and I forget every single word I ever learned. Which is why I sometimes fall silent when talking with you. I know this paper is jumpy and disorganized but I also know you'll understand what I mean._

_That is one of the most surprising things about you, the fact that you understand everything I say or do. Just one gesture and you know exactly how I'm about to end my sentence. I feel like we have a special connection. It can be just my imagination but it sure feels great._

_There's not much more to be said. I have certain feelings towards you. I'm a fool when it comes to love. I don't say that I hope this won't affect our friendship because there's no way it wouldn't. Take your time, think about it. I wish we could still be friends, I wish we could get over the awkwardness. It might be hard but I think it's worth trying._

_If you wish to never hear of me again, please leave me a word. I can't promise I'll never try to call or text you, but I'll sure try to leave you in peace. Just ignore me. It's okay. I'd never force you to anything you wouldn't want yourself._

_Okay, I think this is about it. I've told pretty much everything. Now it's up to you._

_Yours, always,_

_Kurt."_

Once more Kurt reads the paper through, it starts to get wrinkly in his hands. He gulps a few times, this is it now. The moment of truth. This'll change everything, it has to be done. Kurt's palms are sweaty but there's nothing to be done to help it. The hand reaching to the doorbell is a bit shaky.

The door opens, Kurt feels like fainting, but he struggles to stay up.

"Yes?" Blaine's father asks after opening the door.

"Is Blaine home?" Kurt asks after coughing, his voice has almost disappeared. Maybe it got scared.

"He is. Should I call him or do you want to come in?" Michael asks, looking confused. He surely has noticed that Kurt's behaving weird.

"It would be nice if he'd come here," Kurt admits.

Michael nods and disappeares into the house. The last moments before the eruption are the worst, but Kurt manages it. If he fails now, there will be no second try.

Finally Blaine is there, he smiles and welcomes Kurt, asks him to come in. Kurt shakes his head and fights the dizzyness.

"Kurt, is everything okay?" Blaine asks, he sure is worried.

Kurt stands still for two more seconds and then jumps on Blaine and kisses him. The kiss feels good, though almost a bit violent. After the parting Kurt hands the letter to Blaine and runs off, no matter how loud Blaine shouts after him. Now it's all about Blaine.

Kurt drives home fast, as if the Devil's about to catch him. Kurt switches his mobile off, doesn't really know what he'd wish. That Blaine would come to his place? That Blaine wouldn't come to his place? The next few hours would probably be the most critical, Blaine would act fact, that was for sure.

It's not easy to sit down once you're over-excited, walking around the house feels like the best thing to do. Kurt is happy that he's alone at home, he can do what ever he wants. Which is walking right now. Mechanical thing, not too hard to do, it keeps him insane.

Then, a magical sound; the doorbell. Maybe it's just dad who, once again, has forgot his keys home. Second ring makes Kurt turn his way to the door, with a bit of hesitation Kurt opens the door. He almost falls to the ground when someone jumps to him. It's Blaine! Blaine! His lips on Kurt's again, exploring the new connection. Maybe Blaine feels the same way Kurt does? At least he's _kissing_ Kurt right now, it must be a good sign!

Maybe everything'll be okay this time.


End file.
